Tis the season to be nerdy!

So today we were working on integrating Pinterest with Circupon.com. And as a result, of course, I had to join Pinterest to do some testing. And that is when the time wasting began. By the time I was finished I had crafted this very nerdy snowflake with the help of a template found on Pinterest. So all told, I spent about 5 minutes testing Circupon pins on Pinterest and about 25 minutes on this stupid snowflake. (In case you can't tell, those are Storm Troopers).

But now I feel like the season is off to a great start! Next stop, Christmas tree farm on Saturday to cut down a tree!

Honest, Doctor...

I don't know how the chocolate yogurt got up his nose...

Buster wants you to have a...

A moment of reflection...

I had an interesting day today that led up to a very weird moment of reflection at the most unlikely of times.

Tomorrow is the day that my colleagues and I were planning on taking the web site that we have been working on for months into production. Of course, Amazon EC2 crashes hard today which left us all dead in the water, unable to work on the site at all. On this day. The DAY BEFORE we go live. Coulda happened any other day over the last couple of months and not really mattered. But it happened today. Unbelievable.

This day also happens to be Game 7 of the NLCS, between my two favorite teams - the St. Louis Cardinals (the team I grew up with) vs. the San Francisco Giants (the team that my children are growing up with). Amazon is dead all day, but starts to come back to life right in the middle of the game! So what I should be doing instead of watching the game is trying to get everything up and running again.

But I'm not doing that...

But I'm also not watching the game!

No, I'm in the bathroom cleaning up the tub because all of a sudden Buster really likes to take a dump during his bath. Two times in a row now. So as I'm in there cleaning baby crap out of the bath tub I'm just thinking to myself, wow. There is something I SHOULD be doing, there is something I would RATHER be doing. And there is this. I could take this as a moment where I say "that's being a parent... and there is no place I'd rather be." But you and I both know, dear reader, that that's bullshit.

New rule. Don't give Buster a bath until you've got visual confirmation that he's empty.

So I got the tub all cleaned up, then I watched the end of the game (the Giants are going to the World Series!) and then I got the servers back up and running, and now I am at work again trying to put the finishing touches on this web site for our big day tomorrow.

It was exactly one week ago tonight. I was sitting watching TV after the kids were asleep. Korin had been out of town since Friday night, so after 3 days single parenting I was ready to completely veg out and look forward to Korin's imminent return the following day. About 10:30PM last Monday she called - and she was a wreck. The situation that had drawn her out of town was already well in hand, so I knew that couldn't be the problem. But she was a mess. What's wrong? What's happened?

"Andrew died." I had never even met Andrew. Andrew was somewhat of a miracle in his own right, one of two twin sons born to Korin's cousin Stacy this past April after repeated attempts at having children. Ryan and Stacy had been trying very hard to start a family, and when things finally clicked they clicked twofold - their fraternal twin boys Andrew and Daniel were born on April 5th of this year. I know this because the birth announcement still hangs on my refrigerator. Every time I have opened the refrigerator this week, I have looked at this birth announcement. Andrew is sleeping peacefully. Daniel's eyes are wide open. Andrew wasn't even sick, but now Andrew is gone.

How do you respond to news like this? There are no words. I would say that more than anything I was just stunned, more as a parent than as a relative. I know Stacy and Ryan, they are both very kind and sweet people. But I see them once every 2 or 3 years at best. They live in Hawai'i and we don't get there very much. But I am a parent and i have been (twice) through the first tenuous months of newborn life. And twice through the pain of a pregnancy that wasn't meant to be. But our miscarriages, while physically and emotionally painful, have ultimately been disappointing but temporary interruptions on the way to a happy ending. Both miscarriages that Korin and I have been through were followed up by two happy healthy pregnancies resulting in two happy healthy children.

So last Monday, after dealing with one situation, Korin and her family have this one dropped on them. Korin comes home the next day, and is stunned, and feels awful as does everyone in the family. But we try to resume our lives and keep up on the situation in Hawai'i as best we can. Then there are funeral arrangements. And there is the decision Korin makes that she must go to Hawai'i to mourn the death of a cousin that she never even met. Travel arrangements are made, we consider whether some or all of us should accompany her, and we ultimately decide that she'll just go solo on this one and we'll try to keep life as normal as we can here in San Francisco.

And then there is Friday. Both Korin and I work at home now, so we stay out of each other's way during the day but take an occasional break here or there to chat or go for lunch or whatever. Andrew died on Monday, Korin came home from Colorado on Tuesday, and life continued on Wednesday and Thursday. But for some reason, once the funeral was planned and Korin's next set of travel arrangements made, Friday was the day that the bomb really dropped on us. Neither Korin nor I are on Facebook that much, but my chat client is on Facebook constantly and I get notifications when my friends sign on. Korin never signs on. Not until she found out that Facebook was where a lot of the information and the mourning were happening. So, on Friday I begin to see lots of notifications that Korin is signing on to Facebook. Then within a minute I hear sounds of weeping coming from the next room. Her eyes are puffy. She looks exhausted. But she gets through that day and into the weekend.

We had a fine weekend, and today I dropped her off at the airport for her flight to Hawai'i for tomorrow's funeral. I have stayed behind with the kids to try to maintain some normalcy, but I am on edge. I am short with them, and have no tolerance for the slightest bit of crap. They don't really understand it. Charli understands that people die, but only old people. Not babies. She doesn't really know just how sad and tragic this whole thing is I think. Maybe she'll read this post someday and understand.

All the while, all I have really wanted to make sure of was that our kids were ok. I have assumed Tactical. Well, for the most part anyway. My birthday was on Sunday so I sort of took the day off, and Korin made us all a yummy dinner and cake while I sat around, played with the kids, drank beer, and watched the Cardinals lose in 19 innings. 19 innings is a lot of beer. But I did ok. And now I am sitting here in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, mulling over things, and wishing that I was a little better at dealing with these situations. So my daflink, I hope you don't feel like I wasn't there for you this week - I just wanted to be sure that everyone was where they needed to be when then needed to be there, and that there was food on the table, and whatever else needed to happen. Thanks for covering for me Sunday - it was a very nice birthday in spite of the circumstances.

And to the rest of the Yangs, I hope that you are somehow able to turn this pain into something more than the loss of a precious child. For Korin and I, it has really reenforced how precious our kids are, even if they are a pain in the ass from time to time. The loss of Andrew will leave a crater in our lives, probably for the rest of our lives, but such beauty and love remain behind.

A relaxing birthday...

Korin and Charli are playing Candyland off in the other room. Buster is asleep right next to me. And the Cards are tied 2-2 going into the 9th. 41 is a largely uneventful birthday and I have to say, I like it that way!

at night

I've been meaning to post a summary of our current bedtime ritual for weeks now, before it changes, and I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating on work right now, so here goes:

Some time between 8 and 9pm (we aren't very good with strict schedules), it becomes time for bed. We get Charli a cup of warm soymilk, and Buster a cup of warm whole milk. Then Charli and Brian go downstairs to drink milk and read a book, and Buster and I stay upstairs to drink milk and rock on the rocking chair and change diapers and put on pajamas and jump on the couch. Buster does not go downstairs to read the book because he likes to destroy any peaceful book reading experiences people around him might be having, by hitting or taking the book, or hitting or climbing on or sitting on the reader or readee, or by screaming a lot if he can't do any of those previous things.

When Charli is done with her book, she comes upstairs to tell me "It's time for Buster to go to bed right now!" Buster is often not quite ready at that point, in which case Charli also jumps on the couch or does other random things until Buster has his jammies on. Then Buster and I try to sneak downstairs in front of Charli (the sneaking is much more effective when we have visitors to distract Charli; it is hard to sneak downstairs when she is the only other person there), but she always catches us and gets down the stairs first (it's a big deal in our house who gets to go down the stairs first).

When Buster gets to the bottom of the stairs (he walks down holding my hand), he gets a giant grin on his face and runs into the kids' bedroom, where Brian is waiting, and runs around or climbs up on him laughing. Then it's time to brush teeth. First Buster comes into the bathroom with me and we brush teeth. This commonly involves a fight, but it's getting better. Then we come out and Charli goes in with Brian. They have all kinds of noisy discussions while I fluff Buster's pillow and put him in the crib with his 2 favorite blankets. Then I sing him songs until Charli and Brian are done with teeth brushing and peeing and touching the ceiling. Buster never falls asleep during this period; he always waits for Charli.

Charli always comes out of the bathroom nekkid, and Brian has to get her a clean pair of unda. She gives me a hug, and Brian jumps her into bed. Then he has to stand aside as she throws her pillow to me for fluffing. Then Brian has to give her her snuggly toys, and then he has to put her blanket over her (which is really MY blanket) in exactly the right way. Then I put her fluffed pillow on the bed. Then Brian gives her a kiss, and I say goodnight to Buster, and then I give her a kiss and Brian says goodnight to Buster, and then we have to wait in the doorways while Charli says all her goodnight stuff and we respond:

Charli: I don't want to see a ghostly claw!
Us: No ghostly claw!
Charli: I don't want to see a creature!
Us: No creature!
Charli: I don't want to see a big bad wolf!
Us: No big bad wolf!
Charli: I don't want to see a fox!
Us: No fox!
Charli: Good night and I love you!
Us: Good night and I love you!
Charli: Bye bye!
Us: Bye bye!

Charli sometimes says these things to us in a funny voice or a funny cadence, and we repeat them back to her that way. Also somewhere in there, she remembers to ask "Mommy, wait, Mommy, can you sing tonight?" and if my allergies are not in force and I am not completely stuffed up, then I say "Yes".

After Bye bye Brian's part is finished, and he leaves through his door (the bathroom door), and I go back in and we sing a song that Charli picks. Sometimes she tries to fool me by making up random song names, but I never sing those songs. After the song is over, she sometimes tries to tell me she didn't hear all the words, but I tell her I sang them all. Then she tells me "OK, Mommy, I just am going to say 'good night and I love you and bye bye', OK?" "OK."

Charli: Good night and I love you!
Me: Good night and I love you too!
Charli: Bye bye!
Me: Bye bye!

*door shuts*

Musically inclined

Buster practices his latest fascination: the didgeridoo!

First day of a new preschool

Today is Charli's first day at Eben Ezer preschool! They only do half days, so she will be with Nina in the afternoons. So exciting!

An addition to our roof

Solar panels! They are not activated yet, but maybe by the end of the week!

$27 well spent at the farmers' market

Bountiful Harvest...

If you look really closely you can see that our cherry tree is finally producing cherries! Count em!! That's 2 cherries just waiting to be harvested and eaten!

Buster's first baseball game

More from the camping trip...

Here is a shot of a forlorn Charli as we were hiking up the path away from our beach, nearing the end of our adventure. The beach was great, and we were the only people there!

Our beach

This is the beach by our campsite; apparently no one comes here! There's some boat race on so there's lots of sailboats out and it's a beautiful day. The water is freezing!

Dinner

We're camping on Angel Island for one night with Charli's school. It is Awesome here!

Sunday Streets...

Every few weeks they shut down theron streets in the Mission to car traffic and the streets are taken over, mostly be children on various types of vehicles. And, of course, there is ice cream!

Look at this thing Charli made out of Tinkertoys!

My boys

Lesson learned

This is what's left of the little custard filled cake I brought home from work today. It was in a little bag that I unwisely left on the coffee table. The coffee table is well within Buster's reach...

Quiet in the Playroom...

I was "watching" the kids today (which actually meant that I was watching the Giants as they entertained themselves in the playroom). After several innings of peace and quiet, Buster emerged from the playroom...

Four point stance

If you include the head...

The Lorax Park

Dolores Park (or the lorax park, as Charli calls it) just underwent a major renovation. It reopened last weekend and we went to a birthday party there this weekend. This is one of the cool new structures there.

I couldn't help it

I was at the kids' resale shop and there was a giant bag of used tinkertoys. When I saw it came with big wheels and these new bendy bits, I had to get them. Fortunately, Charli likes them, too.

Bath time!

So far so good....

Buster loves spam musubi!

Butterfly!

More expert stylings from the great Nina!!

two cents

Charli has just informed us that nonsense is the plural of noncent. A new word has entered our vocabulary!

tumbling

On Saturday, I took Charli to try out a gymnastics class. She was a little ambivalent about going once it was actually upon her, but once she got started, she couldn't get enough! The facility was really great, too - clean, very nice equipment, and they have an observation area upstairs with chairs and tables and wireless (sweet!). As soon as the class was over, she told me she wanted to come again. Actually, she wants to go there every day instead of Mariposas - oops, not an option! OK, then she wants to go again the next day (also not an option, since they're closed on Sundays). So, we'll be there on Saturday mornings, and they do a camp in the summer where she could go for longer and we'll see if she's still interested when it comes around. In the meantime, here are some pictures of her awesome class!

p.s. I also just backposted a pile of entries, as far back as Charli's birthday before Thanksgiving. Go read them! I posted lots of Christmas pictures!

after dinner

After dinner tonight, Charli said to me:
Mommy, I'm never going to make you mad ever again.
I want you to be happy forever!
And I love you Super Duper!
Can I have some more cake?

I gave her two more pieces.  :)

strawberry face!

It's like they're related! Look! Look!

And Charli has to contribute too...

no words needed

ice skating!

On Sunday we went to Ani's 9th birthday party - she's the daughter of one of my friends who lived in Fremont, then in Vancouver for a while where we visited her before one of our Alaska cruises, and who is now back in Fremont. There are probably pictures of her earlier in this blog somewhere!

Ani's party was held at an outdoor ice skating rink in Palo Alto, so it was kind of an adventure for all of us. I don't think I've been on ice skates since maybe high school, and of course Charli's never been. She was super into it, though, and not intimidated at all! We first got on the ice and slipped and slid and almost fell down, and then we just held onto the wall until we got to the next exit, at which point Charli went right back to the entrance and was ready to go around again! By the end of the 2 hours (which included dinner) we were going around without the wall, and she was asking if she could take lessons. Unfortunately we can't, because Palo Alto is 30 minutes away and I really can't commit to that every weekend, but there's a gymnastics club right down the street from us that I've been meaning to check out for ages. I hope that will be a good distraction!

Raincoats

It finally started raining out here last week, so in our standard preparedness timeframe, we went yesterday to get Charli a raincoat that fits. Or rather, we went to get her a raincoat that doesn't fit, but in the too big direction instead of the too small direction. This is the one she said she loves. They didn't have an XS, or even a S, so she's got a girls M, thus easily filling the "too big" requirement. This raincoat should fit her for the next 5 years!

who is supposed to take care of the children now?

My parents left Sunday morning. Brian's parents left Monday afternoon. Monday evening, we let Buster eat beads, and this morning we took him out with no food and no diapers. I hope someone comes back to take care of us soon, otherwise we may all die.

Jerry Lawler entertainment kit secured...

In preparation for my mom & dad's visit next weekend, I went to Costco to secure bulk provisions, pictured here. That oughta do it for dad! Mom, do you have any requests?

so crafty!

For Christmas this year I felt like Charli and I could really do some projects together, so I went a little nuts and made an advent calendar for her (based on this blog post) with a different activity for each day. I'm not really very crafty, but it turned out so cute and I had fun doing it (and stressed out about it, too. This advent calendar was way more stressful than my job). Here are some of the things we did!

the advent calendar itself

We made hot chocolate with these fancy chocolate sticks I found. You are supposed to swirl them in hot milk or water, and they melt and make hot chocolate! Well, that DID happen, but it took a while and in the end it just devolved into being a chocolate lollipop (which might even be better)

We painted nails, and established that I own enough nail polish to throw out a few bottles that had completely dried up into uselessness, and yet still have more than enough to paint every single fingernail and toenail a different color.

We made banana bread! This is a yearly thing, and really it's a big girl thing as opposed to a little girl thing, but Charli did help out at the beginning, and she's getting very good at cracking eggs!

We made these super cute paper ornaments! We put six or seven onto each long string of fishing line and hung them in our windows, and they look so nice! We also made snowflakes and paper chains. So fun!